Shift your focus

Ever have days when you wake up and just can’t. You can’t get out of bed, don’t want to work, can’t find the motivation to cook or work out? Days where your daughter comes running down the hall covered in toothpaste, your son is screaming at the top of his lungs that his brother took his toy, or is crying cause his sister won’t let him have a turn on the tablet?

Whatever it may be, we all have days where we just don’t feel like parenting, right?

I get it and have them too- even more so during this never ending pandemic that we now call life.

While it’s totally normal to feel unmotivated, deflated, and down, and it’s ok to succumb to these days on occasion, I like to use a strategy that many can benefit from in different areas of life.

Shift your focus

We all have negative thoughts at times, and can complain about anything and everything with the best of them. What if instead of using our energy in a negative way,  we shifted our focus and found a positive? What if we smiled more often, talked about things we felt like doing, found something we enjoyed about ourselves, and in others, and talked less about the things we would like to see change.

What if we connected with a co-worker over lunch instead of dreading the big meeting we had at the end of the day? Or looked forward to taking the kids to the park after school as we wiped their messy faces and got through the 3rd tantrum of the day.

Parents have had an unbelievably difficult challenge during the last two years. They’ve had to shield their children from being exposed to the virus, keep them away from social activities and playdates, and monitor their symptoms in case of a sniffle (if you’ve ever had children in daycare you know that this means almost 100% of the time). They’ve had to entertain and feed their children by attempting to keep them stimulated, educated, and socialized, all the while trying to keep the house tidy and continue to work from home.

It’s no wonder that us parents get annoyed at the mention of yet another ped day in our already limited school calendar.

Coming off a 4-day weekend (ped days on friday and monday), I had the choice to either sulk about the upcoming weekend and complain about how much time the kids have already spent at home, or I could have taken this opportunity to find a positive. I decided on the latter.

I spent quality time with my children and husband, organized outings and activities, planned playdates and movie nights, and still managed to do the things that had to get done (albeit not perfectly, but to some degree). I shifted my focus and decided that I’d rather enjoy my time with my family than let my frustration get the best of me.

By making the shift and allowing myself to think in a positive way, everyone benefitted, myself included.

Similarly, when children have big emotions, feel stressed, have common or irrational fears, they too can learn how to shift their focus.

“I know you’re worried about getting the vaccine. I understand how you feel. Let’s try something. Close your eyes and imagine yourself cuddling up on the couch by the fireplace. Remember how relaxing that was? Let yourself feel like that right now.”

By teaching our children how to change their mindset in an uncomfortable situation we’re giving them tools for life.

We have the ability to make every day great. We’re not forced to talk badly about a peer or to take our frustration out on our spouse. This is a choice we’re making. It’s easier to be down and negative, and takes more time and energy to find those positives. Take that time. You won’t regret it.

Check out www.4kidsconsulting.com and follow me @4kids_consulting for more parenting tips, tools, and strategies. With 4 kids, a background in teaching elementary and preschool children, a certificate as a child behaviour specialist, and years of experience working with children of all ages, I’ve been there, seen it, and can help you be the best version of you on your parenting journey. Why reach out? Because your kids are worth it.