8 Strategies to keep your calm in high stress moments

Have you been to Walmart lately? 

Not an easy feat…

Picture this.

You drop your kids off at school and rush over to Walmart (one of the only stores that’s open at 8:00am). You think to yourself, great, there’s no one in the parking lot. I’ll be in and out in no time and I’ll have a chance to workout, walk the dog, and start my day. Right. Maybe in normal times. But these days, nothing seems normal.

You grab a mask and quickly put it on, only for it to be completely soaked by the time you get inside- that’s Quebec winter for you. You arrive inside and are stopped by the Walmart security team to show your vax passport. You then need to remove your winter gloves to fish through your wallet (or stack of cards in my case), gloves and cards dropping to the ground, to show proof of ID. And that’s only to get in the door.

You do your shopping quickly, rush to the cash to be out in a timely manner, only to find out that none of the 10 checkout counters are open. You look at your shopping cart, overflowing with groceries, household products, and pharmaceuticals and your stress level rises as you shuffle to the self-serve section. Realizing you don’t have reusable bags, you must resort to the brown paper ones (a new attempt to help save the environment).

Thirty minutes later, a $500.00 order, many visits from the cashier (cause the system won’t read your items), and a few torn brown paper bags, and you’re on your way back home only to unload the groceries, leave them by the door (so you don’t drag snow and sleet into the house) and then have to empty the contents and put them all away. In and out right?!

While a trip like this would normally elicit my stress and frustration to a maximum, I decided to use some of my strategies that I teach my clients during high stress moments.

There’s nothing more stressful than witnessing your child have a tantrum and knowing that nothing you say or do will calm them down until the tantrum comes to an end. In moments of high stress, the best thing you could do is to keep your calm. When you share in your child’s stress and frustration, you’re only fueling the fire and making their stress level rise, further prolonging the tantrum. When you’re able to keep your calm and use strategies to bring your own stress level down, you’re then able to be there for your child and help them through a difficult moment.

I could have allowed my stress and frustration to get the best of me as I walked to the self checkout line. I could have muttered under my breath, huffed and puffed, allowed my heart to race at a very rapid pace, and grunted as my food spilled out when my brown paper bags broke.

Instead, I told myself that it is what it is. I used self-regulation strategies to keep my control and find my calm. There’s nothing I could do to speed up the process. I practiced deep breathing as I felt my anxiety rise, sang a song in my head to keep my emotions in check, and stopped worrying about what I had to do next. I was even able to laugh it off as my bags tore apart in the store and again as I carried them into the house.

Similarly, when a child is having a tantrum, it’s so important to approach them when we’re calm and not join in their chaos. A tantrum is a normal way of saying the world isn’t going my way. Adults have them too, albeit, they look very different.

As long as we keep our calm while it’s happening and reassure our children that we’re there for them as needed, let them flap away and scream it out. It will come to an end and they’ll know you’re there for them when it’s all over.

Parenting is never easy but is the most rewarding job in the world. Make it count.

Check out www.4kidsconsulting.com and follow me @4kids_consulting for more parenting tips, tools, and strategies. With 4 kids, a background in teaching elementary and preschool children, a certificate as a child behaviour specialist, and years of experience working with children of all ages, I’ve been there, seen it, and can help you be the best version of you on your parenting journey. Why reach out? Because your kids are worth it.